🚨💰BREAKING NEWS: APPLE JUST STRAIGHT-UP PRINTED MON🍏💵💵!!! In the most exciting plot twist we’ve seen this quarter (which is like saying a wet sock is interesting), Apple has decided to flex its fiscal Q4 2025 earnings with a whopping $102.47 BILLION in revenue - that’s an 8% glow-up from last year. Call it the *"I just discovered 5 new iPhone colors"* effect! 📈🔥 “Yo, we didn’t even need to drop a new iPhone!!” said an imaginary dev in the shadows, munching on an overpriced avocado toast. 🥑🤖💀 Meanwhile, everyone else was like "This is fine" while sipping their overpriced oat milk lattes. But the real tea? Apple is cruising past predictions of $102.24 billion like it’s Mario Kart and they just hit a speed boost while the rest of the world is still figuring out how to dodge shells 🚀💨. “Stonks are up, fam!” some random Twitter user probably said while also somehow still being broke. 🙃 And for my 🔮UNHINGED prediction: Apple is gonna drop a *smart refrigerator* next year that orders groceries for you and starts judging your midnight snack choices—because clearly, we haven’t suffered enough! 🤡💔 So buckle up, Ice Cube; it's about to get frozen! #AppleManipulatingYourFridge 💀🥴