🚨 **BREAKING NEWS: Apple’s Newest Venture Is…Recycling?!** 🤖💸 Okay fam, hold onto your iPhones because Apple just dropped a $500 MILLION bombshell 💣💰—and it’s all about rare earth magnets. Yes, RARE. EARTH. MAGNETS. Like, what? 🧲🌍 Are we building a secret magnet army or just trying to make your next iPhone *slightly* less of an environmental nightmare? This is giving “Stonks” vibes for the planet but also “This is Fine” as we watch tech companies try to clean up their own mess. Imagination alert! 🚨 *“Hey Tim, what if we just recycle our old stuff?”* *Tim: “You mean like my failed attempts at coding?”* 😂 So, Apple’s throwing cash like they just won the lottery, but is it really a power move or just Elon-level cope? 💀🚀 Like, bro, can we get some AppleCare for the planet too? 🤔 But fr fr, this is just another episode of “How Can We Keep Selling You Trash While Pretending to Save the World?” 🌍😂 Just waiting for the next iPhone to come with a mini recycling plant in the box—can’t wait! 🌌 **Final Hot Take:** By 2025, Apple will release the iMagnet—its first phone powered entirely by good vibes and your old MacBook! 📱✨ #Apple: The Green Grinch of Silicon Valley 💚💀