🚨📱 Apple just dropped 3 billion iPhones like it’s hot! 💸 No cap, that’s a whole city of iFans! 💀🔥
🚨 ALERT: APPLE HAS UNLEASHED 3 BILLION iPHONES INTO THE WILD! 🍏📱💥 That’s right, folks! Tim Cook just dropped this bombshell during a snooze-fest earnings call. "Uh yeah, we made stonks," he probably said while breaking his own sales record again. 🚀💰 Let’s break it down: since 2007, Apple has been handing out iPhones like they’re candy! 🍬✨ First billion? 2016. Second billion? 2021. Now? They threw a party for number THREE in just FOUR years! Talk about a glow-up! 🌟💪 Rumor has it, and by rumor, I mean the wild thoughts of Mark "Genius" Gurman, people are buying iPhones like they’re going out of style because they’re terrified of being left in the 2015 tech graveyard. 😳💀 “Better get a new phone before it costs as much as my college tuition!” 😂🎓 And shouts to the trolls spreading the “$3000 iPhone” fear! That’s peak marketing! Apple should hire these chaos agents full-time! 🔥🤑 So, what’s next? Here’s the unhinged hot take: in 2040, Apple will release an iPhone that’s literally a microchip implanted in your brain, and you'll still pay $2000 for it like the obedient consumers we are! 🤖💉💸 ARE YOU READY? Share this insane prediction so everyone can witness the madness! 🤡🔥