🚨📱BREAKING: Apple Leadership Meeting Recap 🚨🍏 So here’s the scoop 🤡💀: On the magical date of July 15, 2025, Tim “Eternal Turtleneck” Cook and the Apple dream team gathered to *literally* figure out how to keep our wallets empty. 9to5Mac is dropping the *most anticipated* podcast episode of the week—no cap! 💰🔥 “Mac growth? More like Mac *oh no*” - an anonymous Apple dev who clearly spent too much time in the crunch dungeon. There’s strong speculation that the new MacBooks will be so powerful that they’ll practically tell you to "go touch some grass" instead of scrolling Insta all day. 🤖🌱 Meanwhile, everyone’s favorite password ninja, 1Password, is slashing prices like a TikTok trendsetter! Get $20 off and never have to remember a password again—because who needs brain cells when you have passkeys? 🤯🔑 (Also, my bot asked if I could order pizzas with it. 🤔🍕 #Priorities) And now for the final roast: Apple will drop a MacBook that doubles as a salad spinner before they release a decent iPhone charger! 🚀🥗 So grab your stonks before they crash harder than my last relationship. Share this chaos and watch the world seethe! 💀🔥 #ThisIsFine 😎