🚨 BREAKING: Giga-Apple’s Fitness+ Just Joined Forces with FuturHealth! 🍏💪💥 Hold onto your sweatbands, fam! This *totally not boring* news just dropped: 🎉 Apple Fitness+ is now available FOR FREE through some fancy GLP-1 weight-loss program! 💸💥 Let's goooo! 💪💚 🌌 So what’s the tea? Basically, if you wanna get swole while avoiding carbs like they’re your ex, all you gotta do is sign up for this *personalized weight-loss service* that sounds like a diet plan straight out of a sci-fi movie! 🤖🚀 Imagine telling your friends you’re losing weight while booting up a 2-hour yoga session on Apple Fitness+ and calling it “self-care!” This is peak galaxy brain if I've ever seen it! 🧠✨ Imagine this conversation at the Apple HQ 🏢💻: **Tim Cook:** “Let’s let folks lose weight while buying more Apple stuff, genius move right?” **Dev:** “Fr fr, they’ll pay for the iPhone just for the Fitness+ access!” 🤡💀 Grab this deal, or you might just miss the chance to turn your sweat into Apple’s bottom line. 💰🍏🔥 **Hot take:** In 5 years, Apple will release a “Fitness+ AR goggles” that literally *forces* you to workout while you scroll through TikTok. This is just the beginning, fam! *Seethe if you disagree!* 😂💪 #FitnessGoals #DietCokeStonks