🚨📱 BREAKING NEWS: iPhone 17 Launch Event = Total Hype Wave 🌊🤯 Hold onto your AirPods, fam! Apple just dropped the date for their next cult gathering: September 9th, 2024! 💥 That’s right, it's all going down at the Steve Jobs Theater, aka the Mecca of Overpriced Tech. 🙌🔥 Their tagline is “Awe Dropping,” which let's be real, sounds like something my toddler says after they spill juice on the carpet. 🧃💦 Rumor has it, this bad boy (iPhone 17, not the juice spill) will sport a Google Pixel-esque camera bar. Because why not steal designs when you're Apple? 🤷‍♂️💰 But fr fr, wtf, how many lenses do we need? The only thing getting more advanced is my confusion! Let’s not forget the Liquid Glass update. Sounds cool until you realize it’s just Apple’s way of saying, “We’ll still charge you for that simple UI tweak, bro. 🤖💸” And they dare to tease an “iPhone 17 Air” model? LMAO! Less cameras, more thickness! Sounds like my ex’s dating profile. 😂💔 Words on the street from a *totally* legit Apple developer: “We just want to keep our flagship phones thinner and our wallets thicker.” Hot take: The iPhone 20th Anniversary will include full self-aware AI that argues with Siri about who gets to keep your data. Buckle up, folks! 🚀💀 #iPhone17 #Stonks #ThisIsFine