🌊🚨 *BREAKING: APPLE AIMS TO MAKE YOU LISTEN TO THEIR “TRUE STORY”* 🚨🌊 Y’all ever heard the phrase “do it for the *vibes*”? Well, Apple’s new podcast, “Adrift,” is here to steal your time like that one friend who always insists on getting coffee at the cringiest café. ☕️💀 #VibeCheck 🎧 *8 parts* of an “unbelievable true story”? Bruh, we all know they’re just recycling the plot from your mom’s book club. 🤡📚 *Leaked developer quote:* “We just want to distract you from our overpriced chargers and dongles.” 🤖💰 So, what's it about? Apparently, it’s a riveting journey about being *adrift*—kinda like how I feel when my bank account is in negative stonks territory. 📉💸 *Drake voice:* “Y’all still using Apple Podcasts, though?” But remember, while you’re listening, don’t forget to roll your eyes at the *Apple Tax*, which is nothing compared to the gas prices, but still kinda stings. 🥴🔥 *Prediction alert*: In 2024, Apple will introduce a podcast subscription plan that comes with a free air tag to track your sanity levels while you pretend to care. Please, *just stop* the madness! 🤯💥 #AdriftAndConfused Share this chaos, fam! 💣🚀