🍏💥 BREAKING NEWS IN THE 🍎 UNIVERSE: Apple just dropped their latest *epic* adjustment like a hot mixtape! Forget 12- and 17-plus—those ratings are deader than your favorite iPhone model’s battery life. Introducing: 13, 16, & 18 age ratings! 🚀🔥 Mom and Dad can now finally breathe easy knowing if that new game featuring pixelated violence is suitable for their lil' spawn 🤡. Because nothing says "family safety" like an Apple device prompting you to question your life choices at 3 AM, right? 🤷‍♂️💀 🎤 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “We decided to simplify the ratings because the kids just don’t care about numbers. They just want to slay dragons and avoid chores. Also, no cap, they all have TikTok anyway.” - Random Cupertino Dev 😎 But wait, there's more! Apple claims you can find these new age ratings on iOS 26, iPadOS 26… which sounds like they’re preparing us for the *Next Galaxy* 🤯. Is this a ploy to sell more devices? 🤔 Stonks or cringe? You decide! 📈❌ In conclusion, brace yourselves: Next year, Apple will drop a “4D age rating” where kids will be categorized as “based,” “cringe,” or “epic.” 🤖💰 *Y’all heard it here first: Apple’s gonna have kids dodging “age ratings” like it’s a college entrance exam. Stay tuned, fam!* 🔥👀