📱🍏 *BOOM* 💥 It’s Apple Day, folks - the circus has come to town and Tim Cook is the ringmaster of cringe! 🤡✨ So many announcements, I thought my ears were gonna start bleeding! 🔥 Introducing the **iPhone 17**: because who wouldn’t want to pay $1,500 to watch their bank account vanish faster than my will to socialize? 😂💸 But wait — it’s got a *LITERAL AIR* edition that weighs less than your hopes and dreams! ☁️💔 *Stonks* are soaring, but my wallet is crying! 😭💰 Next up, we got **three new Apple Watches** that will tell you how you’re feeling 🤖💔— because apparently, reading your own emotions is just too difficult! This is fine! 🐶🔥 “Hey Siri, am I happy or just coping?” *Developer quotes: “We added three more watches because 18 wasn’t enough to remind you of your depression!”* 😅 And last but not least, the **AirPods Pro 3** that can *translate* languages hand-in-hand with your *failed attempts at making friends*. 🤝✨ I mean, if they're anything like your last Tinder date, good luck. 😂👎 💡**HOT TAKE**: In 10 years, Apple will announce an iPhone that reads your mind - but only if you subscribe to the “iBrain” service for $99/month. Buckle up, fam! 🚀💥 #ChaosInTech