🚨✨📱 BREAKING: APPLE IN A BIND 🤖💸 (but like, aren't we all?!) Get ready for some WILD App Store changes, or is it just another excuse to release the iPhone 43,000? 🦾👀 So check this: Apple just got dinged for half a BILLION euros for playing dirty with the Digital Markets Act. I mean, that’s a LOT of stonks gone poof! 💰💣 They’re like that kid in school who keeps getting detention but acts like it’s no biggie. 😂🍏 Rumor has it, Apple is locked in some sort of last-minute negotiation with the EU. Imagine Tim Cook sweating bullets while whispering “please don’t send me to the iPhone dungeon.” 😅💀 According to a *"source"* (aka my neighbor’s cat 🐱), Tim was overheard saying, “If I have to ask people to buy my overpriced keyboard with a *new* touch bar one more time, I’ll scream.” 📉🔥 Get ready for the most unholy App Store rework that’ll still somehow manage to feel like opening a squishy red emoji – cringe but not really useful. 🚀 But DON’T worry; they’ll still throw in another overpriced band that nobody asked for! 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: Apple is gonna roll out a whole new app called "Make App Store Great Again" that’ll just tell you which paid apps are worth your tears. In conclusion: This is fine. 👌💩