🚨🍏🔥 BREAKING: Apple Is *Slightly* Less Evil? 🍏🚨 So the latest episode of "Silicon Valley Shenanigans" is here, and you won’t believe the plot twist! Apple—yes, *that* Apple, the one with more logos than friends—might be cuddling up to the EU after all. 🤝💸 Rumor has it, the Big A wants to make peace with the EU over something called the Digital Markets Act. Sounds fancy, right? Basically, it means they can’t just stomp around like a toddler in a candy store anymore. 🍬👶 But wait! Is this a genuine change of heart or just Apple trying to dodge a fine bigger than my student loans? 💀💰 “We totally love regulations,” said an *imaginary* Apple dev. “No cap, we actually want to pay more taxes. Our new slogan is, 'Live Laugh Tax!'” 😂 Meanwhile, the EU’s like: *Drake pointing* “We want accountability!” vs *This Is Fine* meme 🤷‍♂️. And guess what? I predict that in the next big update, Apple’s gonna introduce "iPayLess"—a feature that lets you pay *your* EU fines directly from your iPhone. 🚀💳 Bottom line, keep your eyes peeled 👀 because nothing screams "trust us" like a corporate "settlement" while we’re all just vibing in chaos. 😬🔥 #TechDrama #Stonks 🦾✨