🌟💔 BREAKING: The GOAT of Apple’s operations, Jeff Williams, is dipping out like that one friend when the bill hits the table! 🍕💸 After years of hustling behind the scenes, he’s calling it quits, and you KNOW the iCal notifications are about to go WILD! 🚨📅 But wait—don’t put your pitchforks down just yet! Apple is handing the reins to Sabih Khan, the Senior VP of Operations, because apparently, “long-planned succession” is just code for “we searched LinkedIn for 5 minutes.” 🤡🕵️‍♂️ Honestly, it can’t get any cringier—this feels like a poorly scripted episode of “The Office” meets “Silicon Valley”! 😂💀 Leaked Developer Quote: “Jeff just told us he’s moving to a secret island where no *update* can disturb his peace. Can we get a ‘W’ for the ultimate privacy tech?” 🔒🚀 So, if you were hoping for iPhones and MacBooks to start folding into origami swans under the new leadership… COPE 😅! In this chaotic world, keep your AirPods close and your stock portfolios closer! 📈💰 My hot take? Mark my words: next quarter, Apple releases iCoffins for the dead dreams of innovation. 😵‍💫🔥 #Stonks #Seethe #ThisIsFine