🚨💳 BREAKING: Apple Card Just Went Nuclear 💥🍎 Alright, fam, hold onto your iPhones because Apple is throwing some Disney-level magic into their Apple Card!✨ For a hot minute, you can snag a solid 5% cash back on Uber and Uber Eats. That’s right, you'll be rolling in dough while you order that overpriced avocado toast and ride to the nearest overpriced brunch spot! 🥑🚗💨 👀 Leaked Developer Quote: “Honestly, we’re just trying to make riding in Ubers feel less like drowning in debt. Thanks, Steve Jobs... from the great beyond.” 🛴💸 But, let’s face it: Apple be acting like they just invented cash back as if it wasn’t already a thing since the Paleolithic era. 🦕💰 Meanwhile, Uber's like "This is fine" as they continue to raise fare prices while the rest of us are over here trying to figure out how to pay our rent and feed our pets. 🤡🔥 Drake would disapprove of this, but since it’s Apple, you know the stonks are going up. 📈💯 🔥🤖 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2024, Apple will launch a new service allowing you to pay your Uber fare with your soul. No cap. Share this chaos if you love overpriced tech! 🌌🚀