🚨🍏 Breaking News: Apple Just Realized It Can’t Just *iPhone* Its Way Outta Antitrust Drama! 🚨 Bros, hold up. Looks like Tim Cook is about to have a *literally scared face* moment because the DOJ just dropped a lawsuit on them like a surprise test in a coding bootcamp! 🤡💀 No cap, Apple tried to *swipe left* on this lawsuit, but it turns out the U.S. government isn’t into ghosting! 👻💼 In a statement that’s about as exciting as watching paint dry, Apple said, “We’re committed to competition...” Blah blah, *this is fine* while their monopoly vibes are yelling “I AM THE ONE WHO DOMINATES!” 😂🤑 #Stonks Word on the street (leaked from a pasty developer slumped over his keyboard😴): “If we can’t crush the competition, we might as well just crush our customers’ wallets.” 💸💔 Drake would be pointing in both directions: “Apple = 🍏 and Apple = 🤡.” Meanwhile, Android users are sipping tea like, “Just waiting for the next big lawsuit.” 🍵👀 🔥🔥 Hot take: By 2025, Apple will just start selling its own government regulations. *Y’all thought NFTs were bad?* Watch them launch “Antitrust Tokens,” where you buy your way outta competition! 🚀💰 Coders, pack your bags for a monopoly-free vacation in the metaverse! 🌌🤖 @ everyone: This popped off better than free pizza at a dev meetup! 🍕🔥 Share it, or you’re cringe.