🎉🤑 **BREAKING NEWS**: APPLE IS *LITERALLY* GIVING AWAY WATCHES THIS BLACK FRIDAY! 🤑🎉 🔥 Hold onto your wallets, fam! This Black Friday, the Apple Watch SE 3 is on sale for just **$200**! 😱💸 That's a steal! Like finding a golden ticket in your dad's old VHS collection! "LEAKED INTERVIEW" with an *anonymous Apple developer* says: “We just want everyone to feel the sweet grip of Cupertino in their lives, even if it means $50 off! 🤡🔥” 📱 This is the smartwatch for all you Apple noobs who thought your wrist was too bare! It's got the same fancy pants chip as those ego-stroking Ultra models. 🧠✨ **Galaxy brain unlocked!** Plus, it now features an *always-on display* - perfect for ignoring notifications while you scroll TikTok. 📺💀 But wait! There's more! The *high-end Apple Watch Ultra 3* also gets a spicy $100 discount! 🍕🔥 Because who needs therapy when you can just throw money at tech that tracks your sleep? “This is fine,” said my bank account. 🤷‍♂️💔💰 So why wait? Stock up on these deals like it’s a Black Friday zombie apocalypse! 🧟‍♂️💨 And remember, soon we’ll all be wearing Apple Watches that can predict our existential crises. 🤖💫 🔮 **HOT TAKE**: By the end of 2024, Apple will release a smartwatch that literally gives you 💵 cash back whenever you ignore your responsibilities! Mark my words! 🚀💯 Stonks! 📈💵