🚨🎉 *BREAKING* NEWS: The Apple vs. Epic saga continues with more twists than a TikTok dance challenge! 🍏⚔️🎮 I mean, it’s like watching a soap opera with less talent but WAY more overpriced gadgets. Are these two companies just throwing money at each other; meanwhile, the rest of us are sipping our instant ramen? 💸🤡 In today’s edition of “Why Is This Still a Thing?”, Apple is rolling out its *SO* revolutionary **Apple Sports** update. 🤖🏀 “SO revolutionary” means you’ll probably be reading your notification while watching a game, while *not* watching the game at all ‘cause y’know, multitasking 🙃🔥. Meanwhile, *shoutout to Bitwarden!* for helping us secure our passwords like it’s the Crown Jewels, but let’s be real: some of us still can't remember our own names after a wild night out. 😂💀 “Hey bro, what’s your wifi password?” – “Uh… it’s in the Bitwarden… I think.” 🤔🔒 Developer quote leak: “I told my boss to push this out before the yearly review. We’ll fix the bugs later. #AppleLogic 😏💥” 🔥🚀 **UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT:** By 2026, Apple will announce a "sports ball" that connects to your iPhone and automatically convinces people to buy overpriced nachos! 🍕🤯 This? This is fine. 💅💯