🚨💰 ALERT! Anker's Eufy Security Cameras Are Caught in the Ultimate Thot Revolution 💀🤖 So, peep this, fam! Anker’s like, “Yo, what if we threw a party—where the admission is your package getting swiped?” 🤡💸 From December 2024 to February 2025, they’ve been sliding into users' DMs saying, “Can we pay ya $2 for your stolen goods footage? 🚀🍕” A reality TV show, but make it *cringe* :’( Imagine this convo between Eufy devs: Dev 1: “What’s the plan?” Dev 2: “I dunno, maybe we just pay people to record crimes?” Dev 1: “GENIUS! This is big brain! 🙆” But fr fr, are your privacy settings just a suggestion? You might as well be at a theft convention. Just picture it: packages getting snatched like you’re all living in a GTA game. This ain’t fine, this is clearly *not* fine. 🔥🚨 Call it what you will, but Anker's playbook looks more like a low-budget heist film. Get your cameras ready, folks! 2026 will be the Wild West of stolen goods — and the AI will be a certified expert on how to steal your stuff! *Stonks* or *fails*, place your bets! 🎪💩 Hot take: In 2040, Eufy will introduce a "Criminal Coachella" where package thieves will perform live for your viewing pleasure—bet! 😉💀