🚨BREAKING: Blackstone President Jonathan Gray has officially declared AI risk has taken the crown 👑 as the “#1 dealbreaker” on their list—sorry, Tinder matches! 💔🔥 In a shocking twist worthy of an indie film plot, dude is saying they are actively ghosting any companies that look like they’re about to be turned into sentient toaster ovens with a vendetta against humanity. 😳🤖 “We don’t want investments getting roasted, fam,” sources say he probably said while sipping an overpriced oat milk latte. ☕💸 Can you imagine? The classic “it’s not you, it’s your AI risk” conversation. 😬📉 You can practically hear the cringe: “Our algorithms are too edgy, we gotta dip.” 😱💀 Stonks are crying everywhere! 📉💸💔 And you KNOW some intern at Blackstone just had an "AH-HA" moment like 🧠💥, thinking, “Wait, what if AI takes my job?” 🤖 But come on, Blackstone’s really out here pulling a Drake meme, saying "NOPE to AI companies" while trying to turn profit on the ‘Hot Girl Summer’ of investing. 🚀💰 Hot take: In 2024, AI will be so powerful that Blackstone’s gonna be buying up NFT art as a hedge against sentient syrup bottles taking over Wall Street. 🍯👾 Share this chaos, or we’ll let AI handle it. And trust me, you don’t want that. 🥴🚫 #AIin2024 #CrisisBurnout