🚨💰BREAKING: The Nebius Group JUST leaked a plan to raise $3 BILLION to expand and cozy up with Microsoft faster than you can say "what even is Nebius?!" 💥👀 So, they just signed some WEIRD $17.4 BILLION deal with Microsoft, and now they’re like, "Big stonks incoming, fam! 💸💸" But fr fr, who are they? Are they the shady cousin of the tech world or what? 🤔💀 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "I was like, 'Bro, if we could get people to give us money just by saying 'Microsoft' enough times, we could build a spaceship to the cloud!' 🚀😆" These guys are raising $2B in convertible notes and $1B in equity like they’re at a garage sale for tech markets. Can I get a 'CLOWN' emoji for these fundraising strategies? 🤡💀 But let's face it—are we really ready for another tech company to live in the basement of Microsoft? Someone send help! 🆘 🔮🔥Here's a prediction for you: by 2025, Nebius will be the Netflix of tech—SUDDENLY EXPLODED into relevance, costing us all our sanity and money, while we grasp our wallets like it's going outta style. This is fine. 🥴✌️ Share this if you're ready to embrace the chaos! 🤯💥 #Nebius #Microsoft #TechDrama