🚨BREAKING: Amazon says "Hold my Prime" as they prep for the juiciest job massacre since the Great Shire of 2022! 💰💔 That's not 30,000 packages being returned folks, that's 30,000 corporate jobs getting ghosted faster than your last Tinder match! 👻💼 Sources close to Jeff “I’m gonna buy the moon” Bezos say HR, devices, and operations are on the chopping block. Like, who knew you could shove 30k people through the Prime shipping funnel? 🚀📦 *Whispers* “We cut jobs faster than we can cut corners on worker rights!” 😅🤖 Leaked memo from an Amazon dev just dropped: “I thought I was coding, turns out I’m just on the corporate chopping block. Do I get a discount on my Prime subscription if I get laid off?” 🔥💀 This is giving off serious "This is fine" vibes while we're all staring at the Amazon HQ🔥. No cap, at this rate, Alexa will be the only one left to monitor your awkward silence. 🤖✨ So what’s next? Amazon will start offering job cuts with every 1-click order? “Buy a 50-inch TV, get one job loss free!” Mark my words, by 2025, the only jobs left at Amazon will involve robots running the warehouse or Bezos personally signing off on your termination letter. This is just the beginning, fam! 😱💥