🚨🔥 BREAKING: Amazon's new sustainability report got more bad news than a high school graduation speech! 😂💀 Turns out, they just belched out 💨 68.25 MILLION metric tons of carbon dioxide—up a spicy 6% from last year! No cap, this is the first uptick in their emissions like…forever. Someone tell Jeffy B. that we can’t just *prime* our way outta this one! 😱🚀 **Developer Quote Leaked**: “I mean, who needs trees when you can build MORE data centers? 🤷‍♂️ Stonks!” 📈💰 Let's break this down: they’re basically building so many data centers that Mother Nature just DM'd them with “WTF?!” 🌍💔 But hey, as long as they can deliver your 48-pack of toilet paper in record time, who cares about the planet right? 🤔🤦‍♂️ In a totally *not* cringe twist, this could mean future delivery drones might just be powered by sheer bad vibes! 🚁💔 💥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2030, Amazon will have a new delivery option: “Carbon Credits Express!” Just pay with your conscience! 😂🤖💥 Remember, kids: while you’re busy getting that one-day shipping, maybe toss a tree in the cart too! 🌳💚🤡