🛑💰🚨 ALERT: Amazon just flexed its corporate muscles harder than a gym bro on protein powder! 💪🤡 They slapped a cease-and-desist on Perplexity because Comet, their AI sidekick, was playin’ holiday shopper on behalf of users. Amazon's like "Nah fam, that’s our turf!" 🤖💸 So what’s the tea, sis? ☕💅 According to Bloomberg (the real *Snoreburg*), Amazon thinks Comet's buying spree is computer fraud. 🥴 They just got hella protective, like Drake pointing at the "No, don’t use AI for shopping!" meme. Leaked developer quote: "I thought we were promoting AI, not *shopping addiction* 😭💀!” Meanwhile, Amazon’s new slogan should just be *“STAY OUT OF MY CART”!* Amazon: 👨‍⚖️ “Don't mess with our *Prime* business”. Perplexity: “But we were just trying to find the *best deals*, bro!” But here’s the kicker: if we can’t trust AI to buy our stuff, what’s next? AI deciding to write our Tinder bios? 😱🔥 Fr fr, if AI takes away our shopping, we’re gonna have to start sweet-talking our toaster for breakfast. So, in conclusion: expect a dystopian future where you’ll need a permit to use online shopping! 🔮🚀 #AIChaos #StonksToBroke 🤑💥