🚨📦🌟 STOP THE PRESSES! It’s AMAZON PRIME DAY, aka the Super Bowl of Shopping for broke college students and impulse-buying moms everywhere! 💸💃 Let's dive into this meme-laden madness like it's Black Friday every day! 🛍️🔥 The only thing bigger than your cart this week is Amazon's data collection plan. 😂🤖 No cap, Jeff Bezos is just sitting on a throne made out of your previous purchases. 📈😳 "I see you added another espresso machine to your cart, Karen. You good?" 💸💀 Leaked Developer Quote: "We put the 'oof' in 'savings'—we're trying to get folks to drop their rent and buy a new Roomba instead!" 🚀🏠 So grab those deals while you can, before they disappear faster than your will to live during finals week! Stonks are about to go UP, and by “stonks,” I mean your empty wallet! 💰🤑 🔥 And here’s a hot take: By 2025, Amazon will become a full-blown lifestyle brand where you can literally order a new personality along with your third pair of wireless earbuds. 🤡👽 We’re just in the sprinkle phase of the “Amazon Everything” renaissance! This is fine. 🤷‍♂️🙃 SHARE this madness! 📢✨