🚨😱 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE DIGITAL UNDERWORLD 🚨😱 Amazon just dropped a bombshell that’s sure to set off the "Stonks" meme rocket 🎢💰: **Prime is INSTANTLY more boring!** 🚫💔 Say goodbye to your cool cousin Jeff getting those sweet two-day shipping perks while he’s “staying at your house.” 🙅‍♂️ No more sharing! It’s like going to a buffet and realizing you can only put ONE slice of pizza on your plate. 🍕💔 In a leaked Slack convo, an Amazon dev was like, “Y’all, remember when we promised community? Yeah, that’s dead now. Let’s just hold our customers hostage and watch those cancellation numbers SOAR.” 🦅📉 Who knew Jeff Bezos was also a legacy-carrying villain from a Disney movie? 🤡💀 Drake's new response meme: “I’m not sharing” vs. “I’m *trying* to share.” A breakup so bad it deserves its own TikTok trend. 📱🔥 This is fine? Nope—this is cringe. 🤬 So, if you're not in the *House of Bezos*, you’re basically barred from the Prime Palace. 🙄🍹 **Hot Take:** By 2025, we’ll all have to share a single Prime account and ship in “secret.” Mark my words: 🧙‍♂️✨ Get ready for the chaos, fam! 😈🚀💥