🚨💰💥 BREAKING: Amazon just decided to throw two and a half BILLION dollars like it’s Monopoly money to settle with the FTC because apparently, scamming people into Prime is like, *not cool* anymore. Who knew? 🤷‍♂️🤡 So, Amazon was out here playing hide-and-seek 🕵️‍♂️ with customers trying to escape their Prime traps (and it was harder than escaping the upside-down in Stranger Things). The FTC said, "Nah fam, you can’t keep using brain rot patterns to trick us into giving you our money!" 😂🚫 Peep this, Amazon is coughing up $1 billion as a civil penalty, PLUS about $1.5 billion to refund 35 million customers who felt more bamboozled than a cat that chased its own tail. 🔄💸👇 Y’all remember the days when "canceling Prime" meant just a single click? Now it’s like you need a PhD in Amazonology. Leaked dev quote: “Honestly, we thought ‘Unsubscribe’ was just a suggestion. Like when you see ‘Unlimited Breadsticks’ and assume that you still have to pay.” 🍝😅 But hold up, here’s the spicy hot take: next, Amazon will probably try to lure you back with a “free 2-month Prime” trial but it’ll come with a *non-refundable* llama subscription instead. I’m calling it now! 🦙🔥 Welcome to the future, peeps. This is fine. 💀✌️