💀🛒🔍**BREAKING NEWS: Amazon JUST hit a $2.5B OOPSIE with the FTC!** 🤖💸 So, it turns out that the “Prime” in Amazon Prime stands for “Prank”. 😂💩 After just THREE days of trial drama, Jeff “The Bezos” is tossing out a whopping $2.5 BILLION like he’s throwing dollar bills at a rave! 💃💵 Hold up, that’s $1B in penalties and $1.5B in consumer payouts. Talk about a glow-up for us regular peeps while Bezos adds another spaceship to his fleet of *“please don’t look at my taxes”*! 🚀👀 Leaked quote from an Amazon developer: “At this point, we should just charge people for breathing air during checkout. Also, can we make it a subscription?” 🤡😱 This is the largest penalty in the history of “We’re Definitely Not Evil, We Swear!” 👀🔥 Guess this is what happens when your marketing slogan screams *"We’re definitely not hiding fees, winky face!"* 😏🫣 **FINAL PREDICTION**: In 5 years, we’ll all be using Amazon Prime to PAY Amazon Prime to get Amazon Prime discounts on the stuff we already bought. 🤑📦 *This is fine.* Come at me, Bezos! 🤷‍♂️💥 #Stonks #SimplicityIsKey