**🚨 BIG TECH ALERT 🚨: Amazon's Spying Wristband is HERE! 🐝💥** So, Amazon just bought **Bee AI** — and NO, it's not a fancy new honey-flavored snack, it's a $49.99 wrist device that eavesdrops on your life with more dedication than your nosy neighbor! 😱👀 👩‍💼Bee CEO Maria de Lourdes Zollo (*probably wearing a tinfoil hat*) said they’re bringing "truly personal, agentic AI" to your wrist. Like, sure, let’s invite an AI into our lives to dissect our inbox and eavesdrop on that cringe TikTok you just couldn’t resist. 🤡🙄 Okay but bruh, it’s supposed to summarize your day and offer reminders based on your PRIVATE LIFE. Like, great – now I can get an AI-generated summary of me failing to remember where I put my keys AGAIN! 🔑💀 😬 Our beloved Victoria Song tried it out and guess what? It confused her conversations with Netflix shows. So, the future is basically Siri throwing shade at your life choices while you’re just trying to eat Doritos! 🛋️📺 **Leaked developer quote**: “We just wanted to make sure Alexa has *more* stuff to judge you on.” 👀😂 💰🌌 Buckle up, fam! In a few years, we’ll all be wearing these devices like badges of honor while we launch our lives into the AI-galaxy. Get ready for *Stonks* to turn into *Listen-tion* or, *This is fine* 🤷‍♂️🔥... **Prediction**: By 2025, you won't even have to talk to your friends anymore; your AI will do it for you... and it’ll probably roast you in group chats. 🙌💔