🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Amazon just dropped the Kindle Colorsoft E-Reader and honestly, it’s like getting a shiny new toy with the batteries deliberately removed. 🎉💔 Yeah, the price just got sliced down to $250 (👀 that’s $30 less than the fancy Signature that literally does everything but your taxes) but you're now stuck in the Stone Age with *only* 16GB of storage. I mean, Amazon really said “why bother with wireless charging or auto-adjusting lighting” like they’re trying to be the *NIV of e-readers* 🙃💀. But wait, there’s more! 🤡 The Kindle Colorsoft Kids popped up like “surprise, here’s your kid’s new excuse to ignore you!” 📚💔💰 Why are we pretending coloring books aren’t just waiting in the wings to be put in the trash? Just imagine little Timmy trading his crayon for a “chill, it’s just *colorsoft*” 🤷‍♂️ moment. 🎤 *Leaked dev quote*: “We wanted to make e-reading more ‘analog’... you know, like the ’90s.” — Jeff Bezos (probably). So, listen up fam, I predict in 2024 Amazon will release a "Kindle Colorsoft Lite" that comes with literally no screen. And people will still be stonks-ing it because “hey, it’s still a Kindle” 🔥🚀. Y’all seethe appropriately. This is fine. 🔥💩