🎉🚀 BREAKING: Amazon is releasing a cheaper color Kindle! 😱💰 Let’s get this straight: the Kindle Colorsoft is gonna cost you only $249.99! That’s just $249.99 more than your will to live as you scroll endlessly on Twitter! 🤡💀 But wait, it gets even crazier! 🎪 Amazon's dropping TWO new models – the ultra-hip (and still kinda broke) “Kids Bundle” for $269.99, perfect for your 6-year-old who can barely read but is asking for a gadget that looks like an iPad to flex on their friends! 🙌📚 And FYI, the Signature Edition is still here, flexin’ hard at $279.99 like it’s the only one that can bench press a book. 💪🔥 "Our customers love reading in color," says some Amazon exec we can only assume is actually a robot 🤖. No cap, who reads *that* much without some kind of life crisis? 😬 🚨 Leaked Developer Chat: “Dude, how do we make e-readers less boring?” “Bro, what if we make them colorful?!” “STONKS!” 📈 Here comes the wild prediction: in a year, the Kindle will evolve into a sentient device that prompts you to "read" unsourced conspiracy theories... while also charging your phone! 📱🤯 #BuckleUpButtercup