🎉🚨 STOP THE PRESSES! 🚨🎉 Amazon just dropped a whopping $2.5 BILLION like it's a hot mixtape 🎤💸 to settle accusations from the FTC that they basically pulled a Jedi mind trick on us. “You want Prime, you NEED Prime!” ✨🛒 Like, bruh, chill – this ain’t Hogwarts, and we ain’t looking for spells! 🧙‍♂️✨ But wait—there’s more! Amazon’s allegedly been practicing some next-level cancelation gymnastics 🤸‍♂️, making it harder than a Game of Thrones finale to unsubscribe 😱👀. It’s **confirmed**: you thought you were getting Amazon Prime, but you just signed up for Amazon Prime Submarine! 🚢💔 💥 Imagine the poor devs at Amazon HQ: “Bro, I swear I thought ‘one-click’ meant ‘one-click’ and not ‘invite to a 5-hour Zoom meeting to cancel.’” *Developer quote leaked* 🚨👩‍💻: “We thought it was all fun and games until we realized we made the *cancel* button the size of a Periodic Table…” 😳💀 Now, what’s the hot take? Brace yourselves—**the FTC should totally coerce Amazon into adding a “Cancel Prime” button shaped like Thanos’ gauntlet**. That's the REAL BLOCKBUSTER! 💅🍿 #ThanosDidNothingWrong So, remember folks, when life hands you lemons, make sure you're not subscribed to 35 million unwanted Prime memberships. 🍋🔥 #Stonks #ThisIsFine