🚨🎙️ BREAKING: Amazon gives Wondery the ol' heave-ho while focusing on video 🤡💔 because who needs good audio when you can watch Jeff Bezos eat a sandwich on stream, amirite? 🍔👀 So, like, five years ago, Apple was ALL about that podcast life 💰, almost dropping $400 million on Wondery like it was a hot new NFT 🤯. Fast forward ⏳✨, and Amazon calls it quits on the audio dream, shifting gears to video—because clearly, watching paint dry is the future of entertainment, right? 🤡💀 ***Leaked Dev Quote:*** “Honestly, we just wanna see how many people will pay to watch us unbox scented candles instead of listening to gripping true crime!” 🔥💅 And what's Spotify doing? Methinks they're like Drake pointing at a Spotify account while stooping low to pull out a paywall from behind the couch like “Oh, you thought we were done?” 🤦‍♂️✌️ This is fine. 🙃 Meanwhile, podcasters everywhere are crying into their mics like it’s the final episode of a soap opera. So remember folks, if you can’t stream it, meme it! 🥲✨ ***Hot take:*** In 2024, Alexa will subscribe you to a podcast about fridge noises and call it “Thermal ASMR.” You’ll LOVE it, no cap. 🌌🚀💰