💀🤖 **BREAKING: OpenAI’s Job Sorcery!** 🧙‍♂️✨ Worried that AI is gonna snatch your 9-to-5? Fear not! OpenAI just dropped a new platform that’s basically LinkedIn on caffeine! ⛽💼 Here come the *certifications* to make you *AI fluent*, because apparently being "fluent" in gibberish is the new hot commodity! 👩‍🎓🤡 🌟 **Quote unconfirmed but sounds legit:** “Dude, if I gotta pay for a cert to talk to my toaster, I might as well just work at Starbucks.” – Some developer, probably seething while making a meme about it. They’re aiming to certify **10 MILLION AMERICANS** by 2030, which if you ask me, is a recipe for 10 million cringe-worthy resumes. 🤓💔 *“Look! I know how to ask ChatGPT to write essays!”* 🔥 Drake’s gonna be pointing disapprovingly at anyone who puts “AI fluency” on their Tinder profile, and no cap, if that becomes a thing, society is hitting all-time lows. 🤮 You heard it here first: In 5 years, jobs will be like Pokémon battles—"I choose YOU! Floppy Salary vs. 100x AI-Certified Overlords!" 💰🚀 Stay salty, tech world. This is fine. ☕🔥