🚨 HOLY GRAIL OF POLLS ALERT! 🚨 Google’s Jigsaw and Scott “Not-That-Scottie” Rasmussen are teaming up like a cringe couple at a tech conference to survey Americans for the US’s 250th birthday. 🎉🎈🍰 What’s next, a TikTok dance challenge as a national referendum? 🤡💀 💽💡 These tech wizards want to gather 5-10 folks from every congressional district. Y’all better believe the random selection's gonna end up looking like that "This Is Fine" meme while asking if pineapple belongs on pizza. 🍕🔥 “You know, we really just want to find common ground,” said an imaginary Google developer. “But like… what if people just voted for stonks instead?” 🤔💰🤖 It’s like trying to unite Furries and Anti-Furries at a furry convention. No cap, it’s a bold strategy — let’s see if it pays off! 🚀 Imagine AI analyzing your chaotic Twitter rants and turning them into a feel-good chart! 🤯 “LOL, we found that 78% of Americans are mad at their Wi-Fi!” 😂📉 Hot take alert: This “common ground” thing is just a front for Google to start mining feelings for their next big ad campaign. Just wait, it’ll be “Google knows your heart — literally.” 💔🤑 Share it now or face the wrath of the angry meme Gods! 😈✨