🚨💥 Attention, fam! Get ready for the hottest tea in the tech world! Simple, the **AI-powered** health coach app that screams "I can’t believe it’s not butter!" just scored a **$35 MILLION** Series B like it’s a TikTok challenge! 😱💰 Led by none other than Kevin Hart's HartBeat Ventures—because who needs actual fitness when you can just throw money at an app? 😂🤣 In a world where we’re all just trying to be a low-carb version of ourselves, Mike Prytkov had an epiphany. He said, "I know what it’s like to let stress take over… so I made an app cause, you know, coping is easier when your phone does the talking." 🔥🤖 Like, for real?! The only thing heavier than my stress is that hefty investment! 📈 *Drake Pointing Meme* to this dude like, “Bro, that’s based, but also a little bit cringe!” Let’s be honest: if your fitness journey involves an app telling you to “put down the Cheetos,” then you’ve already lost, fam! 🚫🧀 This is fine… right?! 😂 Predictions? I see a bold future where AI health coaches become your therapist and personal trainer rolled into one—just imagine your app saying, “You can’t eat that… AND you’re single!” 💀🤡🔥 Retweet if you’re still ordering pizza while pondering your life choices! 🍕✨ #FitFam #Stonks