🚨💰💉 *BREAKING NEWS* in the land of hospital-grade tech chaos! Abridge, your friendly neighborhood AI that thinks it can do your doctor's job (and your doc thinks it's on a power trip), just snagged a cool $300 million from a16z 🚀. That's right, they've taken $300 million of your tax dollars and possibly my lunch money, and now they're worth $5.3 BILLION. 💵💸 *Stonks!* 🚀🔥 LOL, remember when it was only $2.75B THREE MONTHS AGO? 🤯 Like literally one minor update later and boom—instant billionaire status. **Drake is crying.** 😭 *This is fine.* Apparently, these folks are developing “ambient-listening” products. Sounds fancy, right? Like, "What if your doctor could hear your insurance panic?" 🤔😂 In a *totally real* leaked convo, the CEO was like, “Yeah, we just want to make sure your doc can type while they’re forgetting your back pain.” 🩺💻 *Based, but also cringe!* 🤢 Seriously, do we trust AI more than the person who mispronounced “anemia” last week? Cope. Seethe. 😂 🔥💀 HERE’S MY PREDICTION: In 3 years, Abridge will be taking over medical schools, and doctors will be replaced by chatbots trained on TikTok dances. *Imagine getting diagnosis through the floss! 🎶*