🔥📉 BORE US NOT! 🍏💤 AAPL Q3 2025 Earnings Report: The Sleepover You NEVER Asked For! 💀😴 🚨 So listen up, fam! Tomorrow’s gonna be like watching paint dry on your new iPhone’s case! Apple’s dropping their Q3 2025 earnings report, and honestly, it’s giving major *this is fine* vibes! 🔥😤 Analysts are expecting low growth—like, lower than your cousin’s GPA. 🥴🚫 🍏 The “good news”? iPhone and Mac revenue are reportedly flying high! ✈️💰 Like, OOP, did they just take tips from Elon on how to launch a rocket for profit? Meanwhile, the iPad sales tanking 🤦‍♂️💖 — guess nobody needs a fancy toaster oven tablet when TikTok exists, right? #Cringe 💬 One “unnamed source” (let’s call him Chad) was overheard saying, “iPad? Just use your phone, bro 🤷‍♂️. We’re in the era of handheld everything!” 🥽 Meanwhile, analysts with their galaxy brains expect Apple to announce a subscription fee for air! 🤖💸 I mean, why stop with *Apple One*? 🌀🤑 Hot take: In 2026, the iPhone will *only* be available in subscription mode, and breathing air will be an exclusive premium feature. #Stonks UP! 🚀💬 Share this if you’re ready for a snooze-fest that needs more coffee! ☕💥