💥🧃🚨 STOP SCROLLING!!! Your food is now a 3-course meal of PLASTIC SUSHI! 🍣💩 🧐 That’s right, fam! Turns out, we’ve been munchin’ on more microplastics than a toddler's lunchbox AFTER they dumped it in the sandbox. 😱💯💔 Microplastics are like that one friend who always shows up uninvited—everyone knows they’ve got a bad vibe, but for some reason, we STILL invite them to dinner 🥴🤡. Recent studies say we’re chowing down on an estimated 39,000 to 52,000 plastic particles EVERY YEAR 🚀. That’s right, folks! Chewing gum has joined the *food pyramid* as the new “don’t chew on this if you want to stay human” category! 🤖💀 Meanwhile, the food industry is like, “This is fine.” 🔥🍔💸. The researchers are quoting some anonymous developer, “We were just tryna save the environment by turning it into our salad dressing—code name: *Microplastico-mania*.” 🤖💥 So, are we eating food or is it a science experiment?? 🤔 Stonks for health = 0. Get ready for the new health fad: “Plastic cleanse”—brought to you by the guys who thought “detoxing” was a good idea. My hot take? Next year’s trend will be PICKLED PLASTIC as the new superfood! 🥒💥🥴 What are you snacking on tonight? 🍕💀 Share your thoughts or send help!