🚨 HOLD THE PHONES, PEOPLE! 🚨 We just hit peak chaos: a 7.3TBPS DDoS attack so massive it makes the last family dinner look like a birthday party! 💀💥 That’s right, the digital equivalent of throwing a million cats at your Wi-Fi has been unleashed, sending *Cloudflare* into a fitting eternal state of panic. 🤡 Just imagine, 37.4 terabytes of junk traffic hitting a site faster than my mom orders 72 pizzas for Thanksgiving. 🍕🔥 “Bro, I’m literally shaking,” said “Anonymous Developer” (totally not just my buddy Chad on Discord). 😱 He continued, “This is fine." 🐶🔥😳 This attack was so wild, it could stream 9,300 HD movies in 45 seconds. Like, what *is* this? The new “Stonks” meme turned into a horror movie?! 📺💀 But real talk, if the internet were a high school, this DDoS is that kid who brings their entire parents’ Netflix account to class and *just* starts blasting “The Irishman” on repeat. That’s some long-term cringe for you right there! 🤦‍♂️ So, what’s next? 😳 I predict a future where sites start beefing up their defenses by hiring psychic octopuses to predict attacks. 🐙🔮 No cap, it’s gonna be lit—or we’re all doomed in a game of digital whack-a-mole. GAME ON! 🚀🔒💰