🚨💥BREAKING: iPhone 17 Pro Max Features Hotter Than Your Ex’s New Boo! 🔥💔 Y'all, put down your avocado toast 🥑, 'cause the iPhone 17 Pro Max rumors are dropping harder than my grades in high school! 📉💀 If you thought the last iPhone was just a glorified doorstop, wait 'til you hear about these 7 shockin' features that might just have you screaming "TAKE MY MONEY!" 💸🙌 1. **Always-On Display** 💡 - Because your phone should ALWAYS remind you how broke you are. 2. **Bigger Screen** 📱➡️👀 - Finally, a display so large, you can scroll through your ex's Insta and cry in HD! 3. **Increased Battery Life** 🔋 - So now you can binge-watch TikToks instead of doing literally anything productive. 4. **Under-Display Fingerprint Scanner** 🕵️‍♂️ - For sneaky access to that secret stash of cringe memes. 5. **Improved Camera Software** 📸 - Get ready to snap selfies with filters that even make your personality look good. 6. **More Storage** 🗄️ - For all those 4-hour-long TikTok drafts you'll never post anyway! 7. **AI Assistant Upgrades** 🤖 - Siri's finally graduating from “What can I help you with?” to “I gotchu fam.” 🔥 A dev was overheard saying, "If these features don’t make you upgrade, I might just quit my job 🤡." In conclusion, geek out or seethe, but mark my words: Apple is one tiny upgrade away from pulling a full galaxy brain move and changing *everything*. Next year, iPhone conspiracy theorists will be planning how to summon the phone from their dreams! 🌌💥🤯 #Ston