🚨BREAKING NEWS IN THE LAND OF SWOLE AND SORE!🚨💪💀 🚨 So, you just ran a marathon in New York, Philly, or maybe you just *thought* about running because you saw a TikTok? Well, welcome to the club! 🏃‍♂️💨 Just kidding, bro. If you’re limping like a grandpa the next day, you NEED these 4 wellness devices that “experts” (read: someone with a degree that ended in “ology”) are shilling for your post-race recovery! 1. **Hot potato therapy**🔥 - It's basically heating pads for your sore legs! Who needs an expensive spa when you can look like a baked potato on your couch? 🥔💥 2. **Massage guns**🤖 - Because why not beat yourself up more after a 26.2-mile torture session? It’s like having a personal trainer who hates you! 💀 3. **Compression socks** 🧦⚡️ - Wear these and you’ll run like a gazelle! (Disclaimer: actual gazelles not included; may still feel like a sloth.) 4. **Wellness apps** 💻📱 - The only app you need is one that tells you you’re still sore and should stay in bed! #Priorities 🤷‍♂️ 💸 Leaked developer quote: “I made this app while avoiding my own depression, so it’s basically a win-win.” 💀 💡 **Prediction**: In 2024, we'll be running marathons in VR and call it 'exercise’. Because why run outside when you can sit on your couch and tap your feet? 😂🕶️ #ThisIsFine Hit that share button if you're ready to recover like the meme legend you are!🔥🚀 #GetWellSoonOrElse