🔥🌀 GET READY TO BLOW YOUR HAIR UP LIKE A TIKTOKER IN 2020! 💁‍♀️💥 WIRED just dropped a snooze-fest on the “3 Best Thermal Brushes” and I’m here to slap a roast on it like it’s a TikTok dance challenge! (Disclaimer: No hair was harmed in this chaos... yet). 💁‍♀️ “Who cares about brushes?” said literally everyone until today WHEN WE ALL REALIZED WE NEED FIRE HAIR FOR OUR NEXT ZOOM MEETING! 🦸‍♀️💻💅 💇‍♀️ LET’S BREAK IT DOWN: 1️⃣ **Brush 1: Sonic Hair Blaster 3000** – They claim it’s like a Jedi for your hair, but it looks more like a toaster with a credit card bill attached 💳🔥. 2️⃣ **Brush 2: Glossy Goddess** – Comes with “advanced thermal technology” that makes your hair as shiny as your “STONKS” investments 🚀💰. 3️⃣ **Brush 3: The Basic B** – *Insert Drake meme here* 👎. It’s the BASIC of basics; it's practically the “This Is Fine” dog when you realize it just BRUSHES THE HAIR. LOL! 🎤 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "Thermal brushes? More like thermal *crushes*... on my wallet!" 🤡💀 Listen up! If your thermal brush ain’t getting you a date with your Zoom crush (weird flex, but okay), then what’s the point? 😩🤷‍♂️🐸 🔥⚡️ Hot take: In 2026, we’ll just be using AI to style our hair via AR; y’all can keep your brushes! Stay chaotic, my friends! 🤖✌️