🚨🍏🎉BREAKING NEWS: Your Apple Watch Series 1 is officially an *elderly relic* 🦾📦. That’s right folks, the watch you paid a small fortune for is now on par with your grandma’s rotary phone 💰➡️📞. So what's the tea? ☕️ After 5 years of throwing your money into a techno-black hole, your fancy wrist computer is now "obsolete" 💀. What does that mean? It means Apple’s gonna treat your poor little smartwatch like a #1 draft pick nobody wants—abandon ship, it’s “vintage” now! 🚢💨 Let’s dissect this like it’s a bad TikTok trend: “Vintage” means Apple will still *maybe* repair it, while “obsolete” screams “Goodbye, old friend! 👋 Can’t help ya!” 😭 Now your Series 1 is a paperweight or possibly a fancy coaster 🤡. Meanwhile, some leaked developer quote says, “We’re kinda just waiting for Apple to drop the Series 2 like it’s hot 🔥. Don’t even get me started on the Series 3—nobody’s gonna want that either.” So buckle up, tech fam! 🚀 At this rate, by 2030 your iPhone will be considered *vintage* too, just like a VHS tape 🎥—and I fully expect Apple to charge you $1000 for the *repair kit*. But hey, that’s capitalism! 💸 Get ready: Next-gen Apple Watch will simply be a slap bracelet that *contains* your life’s data. No cap!