🚨💰 BREAKING: Archestra just pulled a whole “I’m not a startup, I’m a movement” vibe and scored a fat $3.3M to keep your enterprise AI and Model Context Protocol servers (whatever the heck those are 🤷‍♂️) safe! 😱💻 Now, lemme break it down for you: Archestra’s basically saying, "Forget about those cringe security holes! We’re here to pump up your AI while keeping the hackers in their mom’s basement!" 🤡💀 Matvey Kukuy and Ildar Iskhakov literally woke up one day and said, “Why not make AI agents more secure than my grandma’s secret cookie recipe?” 🍪🚀 They’re trying to make sure our systems don’t go boom like the last time I tried to run Windows 95 on my fancy new PC! 🔥💻 Imagine this convo at their office: “Ildar, how do we make security sexy?” “Bro, what if we just throw around the words ‘open-source’ and ‘MCP’ like confetti?” #Stonks 💥 But let’s be real, if your AI isn’t literally a digital bodyguard that can bench press like 300 pounds, are we even trying? 😤💪 🔥🔥 Hot take: In 2025, Apple will launch the “iSecurity” platform to secure everything from your fridge to your EX’s social media! Mark my words. 😵‍💫💥 Time to strap in!