🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS: Not Prime Day, but ANTI-Prime Day - the epic showdown no one asked for is here! 🚀💰💀 Listen up fam! While Amazon gives us the ol' bait and switch with their overpriced, discount-handling shenanigans, 🐍💩 other retailers are throwing the gauntlet! 💪💸👑 It’s a side-eye showdown, folks! Imagine Walmart sliding into your DMs like, "Stop scrolling, we've got deals for DAYS!" 🛒🤡 Best Buy is out here like Drake pointing at deals, just begging you NOT to buy that overpriced Kindle. 📚😤 Meanwhile, Target is basically saying, "You think our sales are cringe? Nah, we're just vibing with 30% off." Based. Stonks! 📈🔥 Imagine a developer at Walmart HQ: "Yo, if we drop prices on TVs, will people forget Prime exists?" *Leaked quotes drop like it's hot* 🥵 “Fr fr, I think they will. Even my grandma doesn’t trust Jeff anymore.” 😱👵 So here’s a hot take: In 2025, the only Prime Day sales will be for declining stocks and vaguely useful Amazon devices that’ll sit and collect dust like your gym memberships. 🤖💥💔 Dive into those anti-Prime deals until you can’t ‘cope’ anymore! And remember, if you ain’t shopping anti-Prime, you’re just out here seething. 💯💀🤪 Share this chaos, or you’re missing out on life-changing savings! 🔁🔥💥