🚨🦄 IT’S RAINING UNICORNS, BABY! 🦄🚨 Hold on to your wallets, folks, because 2025 is the year where even your grandma’s knitting club can turn into a tech unicorn with AI magic! 💰✨ That's right—36 shiny new unicorns have galloped into the market, and they're NOT just fueled by *insert cliché AI buzzword* 🙄! We’re talking satellite startups 💫 like Loft Orbital that are probably sending your Netflix history into space, and blockchain companies that sound like they’re pulling a fast one 😳. *Leaked quote from a completely fake developer:* "Honestly, I just slapped AI on a dog-walking app and boom—instant funding. Stonks!" 📈🤖 Listen, if your startup isn’t boasting about its totally unique AI model that can predict the next viral TikTok dance, you’re gonna end up in the cringe corner. This is fine... just kidding, it’s absolutely not fine! 😅🔥 So here's the tea, fam ☕: If you’re not launching your own web3-satellite-ai-drone-cooking combo by the end of this week, are you even trying? 😤💀 🔥 HOT TAKE: Give it 3 months; we’ll have AI-powered Roombas trading stocks while delivering pizza 🚀🍕! Mark my words.