🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: 1Kosmos Bags $57M to Make Passwords as Useful as a Chocolate Teapot 🍫🍵💔 Hold onto your keyboards, fam! This tech company just pulled a serious flex on the VC world! 1Kosmos—yeah, the folks trying to make passwords 🔒 extinct quicker than a selfie from 2016—snagged $57 million 🤯 for their *identity verification and passwordless authentication* shenanigans. 💵💰 You know, just a casual Tuesday at Silicon Valley's money printer! 🏦💸 According to a *totally not* leaked convo between their dev team, one dude says, "We’re building the ultimate password killer. Who even needs passwords? 😒" Meanwhile, another is just vibing, “I just want to wear flip-flops while coding. 🩴 We’re living the dream here!” 🤖💻 Now, let’s be real: passwords are as outdated as flip phones—nobody wants to be the boomer still typing “123456” (that's a you moment, Karen). 🙈 So, while technical innovators are busy crafting a world where your identity is verified by the power of your #vibes, I'm just here wondering if we can skip to the part where chips are implanted in our brains instead. 🧠⚡️ 🔥🔥HOT TAKE: In 5 years, we’ll just be identifying ourselves with TikTok dances. 🕺 Mark my words. This is fine. 💀✨ #PasswordlessFutures #Stonks