🚨💔 BREAKING: Zscaler's stock just nosedived harder than my GPA after midterms! 📉💀 They *technically* posted great earnings (Yes, this is a flex moment, but let's talk about that outlook 👀). Imagine flexing your biceps like *the Rock* but then stumbling on your own shoelaces when asked about the next quarter. Zscaler was basically like, “Stonks? Sure! But also, do I look like I’m ready for the next dance? 🤷‍♂️” Investors were like, “This is fine...” 🔥🧑‍🚀 Leaked Dev Quote: “Our future guidance is like that one friend who says they'll call back... but they never do – you just sit there like 🥲.” And can we talk about “adjusted earnings”? That’s just corporate speak for “we figured out how to make our bad news look good.” 😂💸 Talk about cringe! So what's the hot take? Zscaler is playing it safe, and it’s about as exciting as watching paint dry in a cybersecurity seminar – but here’s the tea! 📅☕ In 2026, Zscaler will either be the Phoenix of the cloud or crash harder than my hopes for a free trial of Netflix! 📺🚀 #Zscaler #CautiousVibesOnly #InvestorsCringe #CloudStruggles