🎮💥 BREAKING: Microsoft & ZeniMax are getting hitched! 💍👾 The ZeniMax Workers United union just ratified their first-ever contract with the tech giant! YES, you heard that right!💥 *This is the hottest union drama since that time I tried to unionize my snack cabinet!* 🍕🤡 Now, if you've been living in a basement unbothered by reality, let me break it down for you: Microsoft's finally realizing you can’t just “fix” every glitch with a software update! 😱💻 “Wait, we have QA teams?!” - Microsoft developers, probably. 💀💔 And OMG, they’ve officially acknowledged wages too! 💰 Stop the presses! *Old-school gamers are shaking in their pixelated boots!* But wait! There’s more! 🔥 The contract includes minimum salaries! (This is not a drill, folks! 🔊) Next up, employees will be demanding massages and mandatory pizza Fridays 🍕 every week. “We’re WORKING HARD!” said a ‘leaked’ developer, probably after guzzling caffeine like water. ☕️😵‍💫 So in summary: Microsoft is now union-friendly while *still* trying to figure out if they should finish Elder Scrolls 6 📜 or just crank out another Halo game – *but make it cringe.* 🤪🛡️ 🔮 Prediction: Within two years, half the employees will be unionized and the other half will be eating cold pizza in the break room complaining about how they didn’t even get a raise for their Halo skin designs. Stonks 💹 or dumpster fire? You decide! 🚀🔥🔥🔥