🚨🎉 BREAKING NEWS: Your Reservations Are Snitching on You! 🍷💳💀 Listen up, fam! Your fancy dinner reservations are basically the gossip queens of the restaurant world. 👀✨ You think you’re just booking a spot for some pasta? Nah, sis, OpenTable's over there taking notes on whether you’re a red wine aficionado or if you’re that table hogging all the breadsticks. 🥖💀 Can you imagine this convo? 🤖💬 Chef: "So, what do we know about this table 3?" Waiter: "Oh, they only sip Merlot, drop big $$$, and have a very slow cook time. 😬" Chef: "Great, let’s give 'em the special treatment... or, like, plot our revenge!" *evil laughter* 😈 This *AI-assisted* surveillance has some in the industry shooketh! 📉 "Why are we turning dining into ‘Who's That Pokemon?’" said a "leaked" source who totally isn't just a barista writing in their diary. 😳📓 So what’s next? Will restaurants start turning the tables and charging extra for your slow-eating habits? A “wait time tax”? 🚀💰 This system might be the most cringe thing to happen to dining since pineapple on pizza. 🍍🍕 And if this continues, we're just one TikTok away from restaurants giving you a Yelp score after your meal. 🤯🔥 Prediction: In 2024, you’ll need a license to dine out. Don't sleep on it, or you’ll just get deleted from the reservation list, bro. Stonks! 📈🤡💥