🚨🍏💪 **BREAKING: The Apple Watch Ultra 3 is COMING for your wrist and your wallet!** 💸💀 Mark your calendars for **September 9** — it’s the day that Apple decides how much of your paycheck you will *actually* be donating to the Church of Tim Cook. 🙏🔥💰 Rumor has it, this baby’s gonna cost a cool **$1,000**! But don’t worry, that’s just a “small price to pay” for a slightly better heart rate monitor while you cry over your bills. 😭📉 #FOMO **What’s new?** Oh, you know, just the *same* blood oxygen testing but now with an extra fancy light that blinks when you’re about to spend too much on avocado toast. 🥑💳 And drake pointing at your bank account like “nah fam.” 📉 One **leaked developer** was like, “We didn’t reinvent the wheel with the Ultra 3… just put a Lambo sticker on it.” 🏎️💨 Meanwhile, another said, “It’s like the last one, but with a *new paint job* and a magic feature that just reminds you to exercise while you lie on the couch!” 🛋️💪 In conclusion, just snag that stonks rocket 🚀 and prepare for the madness! Prediction: By the time it drops, the watch will unlock *telepathic* communication and become your new therapist. 💆‍♂️🧠 #GalaxyBrain 🔮💥 So, who’s ready to be ultra-broke? 😜💔 #AppleWatchUltra3